Alfred, Boy Hero
by Chalinaroses
Summary: Heroic deeds, daring acts, and a hamburger. Who is this? It's ALFRED THE HERO!
1. Episode 1: Hero Begins

_I felt like writing something, and my strange mind gave me THIS idea out of NOWHERE…_

It was a beautiful day in an American city. The sun was shining, cars were belching toxic gas into the air, and people were cursing at one another; all was well in America.

A man walked through the crowd, contentedly munching on a hamburger with an annoyingly happy smile on his face. He had an annoying piece of hair that stuck straight up, and whenever he talked he had a particularly annoying voice. His leather jacket had annoying badges on it. To those who knew him (could stand him), he was Alfred F. Jones. To the rest of the world, however, he was-

"Oh no! Help me, somebody help me!"

Alfred turned around swiftly. A few feet behind him, a blond man with a maniacal grin on his face was dragging away and innocent, pretty, and extremely large-chested girl into an alleyway.

A young girl with short blonde hair and a purple bow in her hair turned around and shouted,

"Come on! Somebody save her!"

But nobody did anything.

Suddenly, a loud and particularly annoying voice boomed out from behind them.

"Never fear!"

The man stopped in his tracks as the crowd turned to look towards the sound.

*insert description of Alfred wearing a red, white, blue, and heroic spandex suit here.*

He was standing on an old crate in a particularly heroic pose.

"ALFRED-" The box collapsed and Alfred stumbled a few feet forwards. He straightened, cleared his throat, then said-

"ALFRED THE HERO IS HERE!"

With that, he leaped into the air-

GASP!

He flew forward, one leg out and his fists up-

WOW!

And was just about to kick the evil man in the face-

"Mon dieu, what _is_ that?" He dropped the pretty girl and backed up a few feet, pointing towards the thing in Alfred's right hand.

"This?" Alfred asked, landing and looking at it. "It's a hamburger."

The man took off, one hand over his mouth, muttering about "disgusting, revolting American foods…"

The crowd turned to look at Alfred. "Hurray!" They cried. "Hurray for Alfred the Hero!"

"Oh sir!" The girl cried, running up to Alfred and looking at him with doting eyes. "How can I ever repay you?"

"Care for a flight, miss?" Alfred said dramatically so everyone could hear, then grabbed the girl around her waist a lifted off, flying into the sky.

"Hurray!" the crowd cheered. "Hurray for Alfred!"

"Boy Hero!" Little America cried, leaping of the couch and zooming around the room.

Arthur came in. "Alfred." He said.

"Vrrrrooooooom vroom! Pow! Pow!" America shouted, punching the air.

"Alfred, it's time to get ready for bed."

"NEVER, EEEEEEVIL VILLAIN!" Alfred exclaimed, turning around and pointing his hands at Arthur, making a gun shape.

"Alfred." Arthur said with a sigh.

"NEVERRRRRRRR!" Alfred said, and with a rather evil laugh sped out of the open door and down the hall.

"Alfred!" Arthur shouted, sticking his head out of the door. "Alfred, get back here this instant!"

He was answered by a maniacal giggle and some shooting noises.

Arthur took off down the hall, after Alfred.

"ALFRED! Alfred, I'm warning you-"

Alfred ran even faster.

"ALFRED!"

Alfred laughed.

_This was very entertaining to write. Was it entertaining to read?_


	2. Episode 2: Musical Menace!

"Oh, Alfred, I'm scared!" The girl, who Alfred had found out was named Katy, cried, looking down at the city miles beneath them in fear.

"No need to be! The Hero is here!" And with that he swooped down to earth, landing dramatically and putting Katy down.

"Sir! SIR!" A voice shouted behind them. The pair turned around to look at a policeman with bizarrely thick eyebrows and a panicked expression.

"What is it, citizen?" Alfred proclaimed loudly.

"It's-" Just then, a cacophony of piano notes rent the air.

And the policeman fainted.

"Never fear! The hero is here!" He slung the policeman over his shoulder, grabbed Katy by the hand, and flew towards the sound of screaming, panic, and pretty violin music.

He landed down and put the policeman on the ground. "Watch him." He told Katy, who nodded. Then Alfred ran off.

They were in an area much like Times Square in the way the buildings were set up. Alfred ran in the opposite direction of the screaming crowd, then stumbled to a halt.

On a small stage that had come out of nowhere, sitting on a stool, was a lone man, wearing a strange old-fashioned purple outfit. He had slicked-back black hair and glasses. His eyes were closed, and he was playing a slow, sad song on a violin.

"You there!" Alfred shouted.

The man played a few quick notes, playing a crescendo, then held out a very high one. He opened his eyes, looking straight at Alfred, then started played a single short note, not high or low but right in the middle. From behind him rose a horde of violins, floating unsuspended in midair.

"Welcome, Hero. My name…" He played a few notes on his violin. "Is…" He paused his playing, looking at Alfred. "The Musical Menace."

With that, he started playing a sharp, quick, sinister song on his violin. The horde of violins shuddered menacingly, then started flying at top speed towards Alfred.

"Dude, what's with the violins?" Alfred shouted, unfazed.

"They're VIOLAS, thank you!" The Musical Menace shouted back, angry.

"HERO SHOWER!" Alfred shouted, facing his palm up to the sky, and plate-sized red, white, and blue metal stars rained down, quickly pinning down all the violins-er, violas.

"NOOOOO!" The MM cried, and a flock of piano keys rose up from behind another building, soaring towards Alfred.

But he was faster, and he darted out of the way just in time so that they missed him and went crashing into an abandoned taxi, exploding.

"BLAST!" MM cried.

Alfred laughed gleefully.

Lili walked quietly down the white hallway, the only sound being her small black shoes clicking on the spotless floor. She turned down another hallway, walked its length, and stopped at a huge, menacing white door at the very end.

"Enter." A deep, scary voice said, and the door slid to the right into the wall, letting Lili through and closing quickly behind her.

She was in a large, dark room, a huge screen at the far end along with an enormous control panel. In front of this control panel was an oversized black leather desk chair.

"Overlord B, The Musical Menace is failing to destroy the target." She said in a creepily emotionless voice.

"A pity." The same voice as before said, coming from the chair. "Quite a pity."

Alfred stood up from the destroyed carcass of a xylophone with a mouth full of sharp teeth and brushed of his sleeve.

"Well, Musical Meanie, looks like I've defeated another one of your toys. What's next?" He turned around-

To see the MM sitting on a piano that was slowly lifting off the ground.

"HEY! I'm not done with you yet!" Alfred cried, running towards the piano through the rubble of a couple hundred various evil musical instruments.

"I've been called back to my master." He said simply, getting higher and higher.

"But wait! Who is your master?" Alfred shouted, looking up at the MM.

He merely laughed, then the piano shot off into the distance at lightning speed.

"I need a good cup of earl grey." The policeman muttered, holding his head in his hands as the taxi bumped through the streets of the city.

"What that?" Alfred said, back in his normal clothes and stuffing his face with a large French fry.

"It's tea, Alfred." Katy said, sitting on the other side of the policeman, whose name was Arthur.

"Oh." Alfred said, licking salt of his fingers with loud sucking noises.

Arthur groaned.

_WHO is Overlord B? WHAT does he/she have planned? WHERE will the trio head next? WHEN will Alfred stop eating? WHY does Overlord B want to destroy The Hero? HOW will Overlord B be stopped? Find out on the next episode of- Alfred, Boy Hero!_

_Feel free to exchange ideas about who Overlord B is, but I'll tell you know, it's not who you think :)_


	3. Episode 3: The attack of DD and SS!

_I got my first review! *tear* I'm so happy you liked it,_ _zoloswordsman! After this, I've got 6 villains planned, plus Overlord B, so keep stalking me! You're right, it's not Russia. Russia is always the bad guy, its mundane, everyone expects it. I got much more creative then Russia. Who could Overlord B be? The suspense indeed, my friend, the suspense indeed._

As the taxi drove down the street, the traffic got thicker and thicker.

"Hey! ¿Qué estás haciendo?" The taxi driver yelled out the window, honking loudly and taking a puff on his cigar, ashes falling onto his brightly patterned red shirt.

Alfred whistled happily, licking up the last of the grease from the fry container, Katy was staring out the window at the chaos, and Arthur was holding his head in his hands, moaning.

Then they heard a scream.

"¿Qué?" The driver muttered, poking his head out the window again.

"What was that?" Katy started to ask, but suddenly the taxi screeched to a halt, throwing them all forward.

"Ay yi yi!" The driver exclaimed, storming out of the taxi to yell at random drivers.

Then the sound of breaking glass resounded, and screaming rent the air. They heard a cute, slightly annoying laugh ring through the air.

"There are people in distress!" Alfred cried, and unzipped his jacket.

…

"Never fear!"

People turned around, staring at the source of the loud, arrogant voice.

Alfred was standing on top of the taxi, a spandex wonder.

"The hero is here!"

Then he paled.

Two men were standing side by side a few yards from where the cars stopped, in the middle of the street. One was very tall, buff, and confident, the other rather cute and pathetic. The first had a stern expression, while the other had an evil grin that looked terrible on his cute face.

"So. Ze hero is here." The buff man said.

"Nice accent." Alfred said, giggling.

"DO NOT MOCK ME!" The buff man roared.

"Veee, I don't like you." The other man said in a terrifying mix of cuteness and extreme evil.

"Who are you two?" Alfred asked, leaping through the air and landing in front of them, eyeing their strange military uniforms.

"Ve are-" The buff man said, pausing dramatically to heighten the effect. Then he said,

"Deutsch Destructor!"

Then the other chimed in.

"And Sammy Surrender!"

"What the hell is with your name? It's so gay." Alfred said to Sammy, laughing.

Sammy got an evil look on his face. Suddenly, the uniforms disappeared to reveal two more spandex suits, DD's dirt brown and SS's bright yellow. In unison, they turned, back to back. A random stick flew through the air and landed in DD's hair.

"Prepare to perish. For my true name is-" SS said dramatically. He jerked his arms up, elbows bent, and hundreds of pounds of fresh pasta flew up behind him, each strand coiling independently.

"The Pasta Prince."

DD copied his movements, and a colossal stick rose out of the ground and stood up, erect, behind him.

"Meet Herr Stick." DD said.

And the battle began.

…

Sarah sat in an armchair, staring dreamily at her pet fish, Shelly, swim lazily around in her tank. Suddenly, a screen dropped down from the ceiling, and the dark silhouette of a chair appeared on the screen.

"Minion 123-S."

"Yes, Overlord B." Sarah quickly said nervously, hurriedly straightening up and smoothing out her blue dress.

"Call in Minion S-1. G-1 and I-1 are failing."

"Yes, Overlord." Sarah said, standing up to bow, but the screen had already disappeared.

…

DD collapsed to the ground, small red and blue sparks popping out of his ears.

"Deutsch!" The PP cried, staring at his fallen comrade.

He turned slowly, oh so slowly around to face Alfred, an evil and horrible look on his face.

"You shouldn't have done that."

With that, the Prince waved his arm in a wide arc, summoning the pasta, which had been about to smother a man who appeared to be smoking pot, to come veering around again and come speeding towards Alfred through the air.

But Alfred jumped high into the air, summoning a huge red spiked disk, and sent it flying through the pasta, slicing it all in half. It collapsed to the ground in a flop.

"NOOOOOO!" The Prince cried, falling to the ground. He raised his left arm up, palm outstretched.

"PASTAAAAAAAA!"

His scream of despair was cut short as Alfred tackled him, quickly standing up and putting his red booted feet on the Prince's chest.

"So long, Prince." Alfred said, and kicked him in the head so he passed out.

The crowd had just started cheering (Alfred had just started reveling in his glory), when Katy pushed through the crowd and stumbled up to him.

"What is it, Katy?" Alfred asked, noting the worry on her face.

"It's Arhtur-he-" but she was cut short as the laugh of a mischievous little boy echoed through the city, the sent of sea salt coming in with a breeze.

"Hey jerk! Got your boyfriend!" the voice called, and laughed again.


End file.
